The next decade....what's in store?

Squashed!

If you've been reading this blog long enough, you would know that I like to check up on health issues. So the last time I went to the 'Guyanese' doctor, based on what I told him, he ordered an ultrasound of the left mammary.

I made the appointment at a place for next Monday, then last night was talking to mother and sister about it and they asked why I didn't go to Dr 'Friend'....yes, a friend of the family. I'd get a discount, they said. And this radiologist is one of the best I am told.

So went today. Ladies, have you ever had a mammogram?

(Oh, Dr Friend said in his opinion a mammogram would be better, then if he saw anything which caused concern he would do an ultrasound.)

Right. Back to the squashing of the titties...

The lady who attended to me was very detailed about what she was going to be doing. So she explained the process to me before, therefore I knew what to expect. This was my first mammogram by the way.

As she squashed, she kept asking "are you ok? tell me when you can't bear it anymore". Well clearly my tolerance for pain is high cause she squashed quite a bit before I said "that's it". She did two pictures of each coconut. Well actually mine wouldnt classify as a coconut. Udders is more like is, small ones though!

She had to fix them on the machine, but of course she told me before taking my breasts and hauling them, like cow's udders. I guess a man couldn't do this job. Too much breasts in his hands....men have little control. That's a physiological thing I understand.

When she was done, she asked me to wait while she went to check the quality of the film. She came back into the room and said "I have to do them all over again". Without being alarmed, I asked her why. She bus' out a laugh and said she was joking.

Next I went into Dr Friend's office where he showed me my titties on film. Yes, my titties are movie stars. He showed me what a normal breast looked like (the perky variety of which mine are not! Too many card games of 'Spit' seated on the floor hunched over), and showed me mine. Then he wrote his diagnosis...

Fair replacement of the dense glandular parenchyma by fat is noted in both breasts. I saw no sign of breast cancer or the presence of a benign mass lesion.

Did he say that I am fat? I think so. Maybe Dr D can confirm that.

By the way, I would think that BGS (breasts going south - like mine) are better candidates for mammograms than PTs (perky tits). I just can't see somebody with an A cup with perky tits getting them on to that machine.

Posted by yamfoot at July 1, 2005 06:51 PM